Recently my charming, sexy, but at times socially awkward girlfriend asked me a question:
What do you say to bands when you get to meet them? She’s got the “Hi, I’m a big fan and love your music” thing down, and she can bat her eyes and be all cute like. But then what? How do you hold a conversation with adorable band members through all those butterflies without making a total ass of yourself?
Working at rock venues for quite a few years, I had to learn to be comfortable working and chatting with established musicians in order to do my job. So, I have a plethora of experience in these situations and often forget that not everyone has the same skillz. Below are a few things that make for fan-to-band conversation, as well as some no-no’s, to keep you safe from horrifyingly awkward situations.
DONT’s
1) DON’T ask about how they’re all getting along, and if they’re sick of each other yet (unless you know them all really well). There is no privacy on tour, they’re stuck sleeping, using the bathroom, and eating with the same group of people regardless of weather or not they like each other. This is a potentially sore subject for people on the road.
2) DON’T ask if they’ve gotten laid.
3) DON’T talk about how you don’t like the new album as much as the old. DON’T talk about all your favorite songs from that album. DON’T ask them why they didn’t play your favorite single (they’re probably sick of playing it).
4) DON’T mention that the band hasn’t been the same since X left
5) DON’T talk about how great you are, or your band is, because they’re not going to offer to take you on tour. DON’T ask them if they need an opener.
6) DON’T talk about the bands they sound like, or what awesome things their other family members have done (lots of musicians have relatives in the industry). Bands don’t like being compared to other groups, and are touring to develop their own clout. They also, like most of us, don’t love being compared to their parents.
7) DON’T ask to see the tour bus.
8) DON’T get belligerently wasted then fling yourself into their laps. Resist this urge (unless they ask you to).
DO’s
1) How’s the tour so far? If applicable, ask if they’re looking forward to having some time off at the end of the tour, or if they’re excited if it’s just begun. If you don’t have that information on hand, dont panic. Just ask them where they are in their tour and go from there.
2) I really like the new album for X reasons. This is why they’re touring. Do some research if you really like the band, because they’re going to be pretty excited to chat about what they’ve been working hard on for the past few months/year.
3) Talk about the band set-up/instrumentation: If you’re a musician yourself, compliment and speak with awe about their instruments (maybe use words with different connotations there…) and about how you just loved that theremin sample they added to the live version of your favorite song. Etc.
3) How did you like the energy from the crowd tonight? Talk about their set, how great it was, and talk about how their stage presence is amazing (if it wasn’t, just say you loved their set anyways). Mention what you liked about it, how it moved you, etc.
2) How are you enjoying touring with X band?
Examples:
- Are they as nice to hang with as they seem on stage?
- Have you guys been jamming together at all?
- How is life on the road with X band?
3) What city’s been your favorite so far? Was it sold out? Any turnouts that surprised you? What’s your next stop?
4) If they’ve been through any city you’re familiar with, bring that up. They’ll probably be familiar with the different venues, perhaps some bars and other sites you can pretend you’ve heard of/been to.
5) If none of the above are appropriate topics but they seem like they don’t seem annoyed by you hanging around, offer to buy any of them a drink (look first to see if they’re already drinking or not - they might be sober). If they say no, that’s a non-awkward way to exit and go about your star-studded night/to the next band member. If they say yes, great, and you’ll [probably] get to chill with them longer and they’ll appreciate the gesture.
